We promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  As future members of the DC Lawyers Assistance Program, we are proud to present a bi-weekly run-down of DC hotspots.  This week we're doing a review of Rhino Bar & Pumphouse, the February 21 Law Revue after-party bar selection.

Before getting into this review, we'd like to re-introduce ourselves to you, our now faithful readers.  Set is a recent graduate of George Washington University and DC's very own former bar wench.  You might have already met her at Bar Review, since every Friday at least 10-15 new people know her by name and have an inside joke with her.  Lisa, fresh from the Chicago working world, is thrilled to be in a new city, with new bars.  You might also have met Lisa at Bar Review, especially if she torture racked you and asked for outlines.

Rhino Bar & Pumphouse

Case: February 21, 2008 Review of Rhino Bar & Pumphouse, located at 3295 M Street NW.  Neither one of us is a huge fan of this sports bar (mainly due to a complete ass of a manager), but once we heard there was going to be a $4000 tab, our previous reluctance to revisit this bar immediately disappeared.

Before getting into the meat of our review, we'd like to take this space to give a HUGE shoutout to the Law Revue performers.  We had no idea we went to school with so many musically and theatrically talented people.  Like seriously, who knew half of the students here were undercover opera singers? We'd heard amazing things about shows in years past and this year's performance did not let us down.  We were thoroughly entertained and any show that gives Larry Cunningham the opportunity to dance and sing is a friend of ours.

Facts: Rhino Bar is much bigger than it appears from its unassuming exterior. Inside the spacious split-level interior, the décor is typical for a sports bar. Dark wood paneling, random posters, grimy bar stools, and a dance floor that can get pretty slippery towards the end of the night all add up to a casual laid-back atmosphere conducive to heavy drinking and rowdy behavior. The male to female ratio is generally tipped towards males, making it a good place for ladies to snag some numbers. Attire is casual on game days with a wide array of sports apparel being flaunted. Saturday nights are a tad bit dressier however, as college co-eds dominate the bar.

Luckily, on this particular Saturday night we got to avoid the college co-eds as we were sent to the upstairs bar upon our arrival.  This area looks like a combination of The Max and Frosty Palace, only with poorer lighting.  The space is very large, with an ample sized bar that fits numerous bartenders and bar-backs comfortably, what looked to be several pool tables covered in checkered, plastic tablecloths, and a bizarre assortment of leather couches.  Given the number of drinks consumed during the open bar, we're sure everyone was as grateful as we were that there were bathrooms located upstairs; however, we believe these were the only bathrooms located in the bar so we did end up having to interact with annoying undergrads after all.

Issue: Why was the upstairs the hottest, most crowded place ever?  And why no shots included in the open bar?

Holding: The line outside of Rhino wasn't too long when we got there but the door folks seemed to have some problems deciding who was a GW student and who was just a regular patron that picked the wrong night to come to Rhino.  We were also thrilled to see the previously mentioned manager, being an ass as usual.  There were some issues once we got upstairs but soon we were at the bar, and the bartenders could not have been nicer or more accommodating.  Kudos to Rhino for actually providing more than 1 bartender for the upstairs bar- we only had to wait a few minutes each time (perhaps too many times) we went to the bar for a drink and the bartenders were more than willing to give us multiple drinks at a time.  Plus, much to our surprise, the tab actually lasted quite a while, maybe even too long for the two of us.  And, while the upstairs was hot and crowded, it was still great to see so many GW students out socializing. Much props to all of you who joined us in a rousing rendition of Miley Cyrus' "See You Again"; obviously the public displays of talent didn't stop at the end of Law Revue.

Rule: While we still aren't completely sold on Rhino, we did have a great time last night (divey bar + free booze = happy Set and Lisa).  Everyone we talked to and torture racked seemed to be having a blast.  Overall, a great Law Revue after-party bar selection and we can't wait for next year's show.

Do you have suggestions, comments, concerns or just need a bar recommendation?  Email us at gwbarbrief@gmail.com.