Bar Brief: The Connection
We know you cried your eyes out because of the absence of our column in the last issue of the Nota Bene, but luckily Set has returned from her Motherland (strip search and all) so now we're back in full force.... We promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. As future members of the DC Lawyers Assistance Program, we are proud to present a bi-weekly run-down of DC hotspots. Now that the new semester is underway, we are well aware that you are too busy to even attempt to plan your own social life. Luckily for you, we're here to serve as your personal party planners. This week we're doing a review of The Connection, the hottest nightclub in Snowshoe Mountain, West Virginia (read that as if you're missing your 2 front teeth).
Before getting into this review, we'd like to remind you that if you know of any summer jobs, please send them our way, especially if they pay. They don't even need to be legal jobs, or legal, for that matter. We hear Camelot has an excellent summer "associate" program.
Case: Review of The Connection, the hot spot on Snowshoe Mountain. We'd been hearing about this place for a year and we wanted to check it out to see if it lived up to the hype.
Facts: Located in the village of Snowshoe Mountain, above the cafeteria and another bar, The Connection is where the who's who of Snowshoe come out to play. This club/bar/arcade has everything a girl could ask for. Cheap beer, foosball tables, a big dance floor, tons of townies, a bar that looks like a Tiki hut, and of course, a coat check (though we can't guarantee that you'll get your coat back...sorry, Rob). Upon arriving at this infamous West Virginia haunt, we were shocked to find a long line and a cover charge of $5. Apparently there was a coupon for buy 1 get 1 cover charge free, but we forgot our coupon books back at our "cabin." We paid the cover, dropped off our jackets, and made our way to the very crowded bar and dance floor area. The next few hours proved to be quite the culture shock. Back in DC, we're used to checking a guy's ring finger before striking up a flirtatious conversation, but in West Virginia, you wait to see if a guy's got all his teeth before charming the long-johns off of him. It's also important to never tell a guy you're age in West Virginia, because he might compare you to his mother (sorry, Maria). Nevertheless, a few drinks in and we forgot that we were in a foreign land, and got our fist pump on while getting down on the dance floor. We also tried to commit several "robberies" but to no avail. By the end of the night, we were treating everyone as if they were our cousins. You know what that means in West Virginia...
Issue: Why was it so hot in there? Honestly, we get that it's a ski resort, but when the temperature outside is in the 40s, there's no reason to crank up the heat to 80, especially when people are getting crazy on the dance floor. And really, if you're going to have a coat check, make sure people get their coats back. Finally, a cover charge? The Connection may be the classiest establishment in town, but this is Snowshoe Mountain, not K Street.
Holding: We don't think The Connection really lived up to the hype but we will definitely be back next year, coupon in hand.
Rule: What happens in Snowshoe stays in Snowshoe. Except for herpes. That s*** will come back with you.