The big joke about law school is that it's really high school with more expensive textbooks. Walk through the doors of any law school in the country and you'll find a small, insulated community that thrives on competition and excellence. And like any high-pressure environment, people become close - very close. After all, you spend three years of your life in the law school, so chances are you will encounter romantic possibilities and entanglements, maybe even find true love among the library stacks.

Some who have never had the, er, pleasure of getting to know their fellow classmates on an intimate level - whether purposely or not - may ask what the big deal is. We're all adults, why should dating another law student be a big deal.

Cue everyone else - yeah, right.

Many of the students interviewed for this article did not want their names to be used for this article. Understandable, as one 3L student put it: "The biggest drawback to dating someone in law school is that it is a fishbowl. Everyone knows everything about your relationship and if you possibly break up in law school it is extremely detrimental to friend dynamics within the group. People inevitably choose sides and there is unneeded drama that comes after the breakup since you have to see the person at all the law school functions." Having you and your current/former partner's name in print does not help that situation.

Megan Mueller, a 3L who dated another law student for about ten months, agreed that the public nature of law school relationships is what many students say is the biggest downside of dating in the law school. Mueller said that it's worse than dating non-law students because, with fellow law students, "you can't avoid them - if you break up or even if you just need some space, you will inevitably run into them at school, especially if you have classes together."

It's a familiar scenario to many people, including Mo McGough and Rob Wolcott. The couple, who graduated in May, met while doing the Law Revue show when Wolcott was a skit director and McGough was a "lowly 1L." McGough remembered, "One of my first memories of Rob was him coming up to me in front of my new 1L friends, who I was still trying to dupe into thinking I was cool, and kicking me out of the show - right there in front of everyone." She added, "He later told me he thought I was a ditzy sorority girl when he first met me.  I thought he was forty...and gay." Wolcott went on to say that they became friends, "And then," he joked, "there was the year long period of me breaking her down slowly and convincing her to date me." While their relationship was successful, Wolcott noted, "We got lucky, but I saw some friends go down in flames. Flames!" McGough added, "Yeah - and - if you're going to get your law school date on...remember it's a small school.  People talk."

Though the law school fishbowl annoys many of those in relationships, almost every interviewee volunteered that the biggest advantage to dating a fellow law student was that they know what you are going through as a law student. One 3L who dated her boyfriend for over a year said, "They don't question the fact that you REALLY have to spend that long studying for an 'open book' test.  They are able to cut you slack when you are frustrated with school and you can even study with them."

One 3L couple, who wanted to remain anonymous, met in their LRW class during 1L year. He said, "Your partner has context for what your greatest challenges, achievements, etc. are.  It's very difficult and time-consuming to explain law school to nonlawyers or non-law students.  Though less difficult, it's also hard to explain to someone who isn't at the same school." They say that the biggest challenge to their relationship is the time factor. He said, "You just don't have time to do the kinds of things that you'd like to do to start, deepen, or maintain a relationship - weekend getaways, nights out together, etc. That may sound like a bit of a cop-out, because we're always going to be busy people, but I think it's a valid point. Law school is such a 24/7 obligation that it's really hard to align two people's schedules on a consistent basis unless you really work at it."

For Wolcott, the good part was that he and McGough spent time together. "I got to see Mo a lot, and she also understood all of the crazy nonsense of law school.  Also - she was my built in study partner, and we had similar schedules. Also - automatic date to Barrister's Ball." But while law school significant others may understand what their partner is going through, McGough pointed out that it is not always an advantage. "You can never play the 'Oh my lanta this is so hard - you couldn't possibly understand' card - because they do.  Also, around finals time...we get cranky. Real cranky." She added, "I think we broke up before each of our finals."

Another common roadblock to legal love is that law students tend to be, well, intense. One 3L in a long-term relationship said, "Some lawyers and law students really get into the lawyer mindset 24/7.  We always want to know, 'What's the issue here?' and to devise a logical, internally consistent rule for resolving that issue.  A non-law person has to be able to cope with that . . . or the lawyer has to be able to turn that switch off."

McGough put it more bluntly. "Dating a lawyer means you can't ever win an argument." Audra Dowless agreed. Dowless, a 3L who dated another law student before she transferred to GW Law, said, "The one thing that bothers me the most is being in a relationship with someone who is training to think a certain way. Lawyers nitpick at everything and are very literal." She went on to add that competition was also a problem. "It was really awkward when we found out about journal competitions 1L year. [He] made law review and I didn't and was devastated. I couldn't talk to him for like 2 days." She said, "I mean, I was obviously happy for him, but that was something that was very hard for me to handle. We also had a weird rule that we didn't talk about grades... but that just led to a different issue - speculating what the other person's GPA was stupid stuff like that, [stuff] that shouldn't matter."

Dowless is now dating a non-law student and says that her boyfriend gives her a better perspective on life. "He doesn't get how it works being a law student and why some days I'm more distracted than others or stressed out - but also he provides a really nice respite. We talk about things not law school related most of the time and it gives me an outlet. Sort of makes you look at the bigger picture of life, instead of being in the law school bubble 24/7."

One law school grad had a different problem while hooking up and dating while at GW Law. "Law school females are the most desperate women I have ever encountered," he declared. "Anal Retentive Pretentious Nerd by day, Anal Retentive Pretentious Vixen by drunk." The grad, who wished to remain anonymous, hooked up with and dated several law school students while at GW Law. He qualified his statement, saying: "Believe me, I'm not being sexist. You could substitute Vixen with Lothario and both would apply equally to law school. The stress creates caged animals, with alcohol being the key."

When asked what he would tell students thinking about hooking up with or dating a fellow law student, the law school grad said, "I don't recommend either, unless you feel like hopping in your time-machine to another dimension where you replace your actual high school classmates with the most socially awkward people you have ever met." He went on to say that "forced social interaction is confused with actual affection."

When asked if he thought there was any advantage to dating someone in law school, he thought for a second and then said, "Yes. Sex in the study rooms."

All of the interviewees had advice for those thinking about stepping into a law school relationship.  One 3L cautioned: "Make sure that you like them ...A LOT. If you don't like them that much, then you may be causing unneeded drama and you'll still have to see them every day for the next three years.  It can work out amicably after a breakup, but that requires a lot of maturity on both your parts. I would say take it slow and try to not involve other people in law school in your law school relationship." Mueller said that people should avoid dating law students altogether or establish boundaries at the outset of the relationship to "minimize the awkwardness if things go sour."

Of course, every so often, there are the law couples that make it work. Over the summer, Wolcott asked McGough to marry him. When asked about their future, Wolcott said, "I think I'll keep her around for...as long as we both live."

McGough retorted, "Let me check my calendar..."

"Check your hand," Wolcott responded.

"Oh!  Look at that. An engagement ring," McGough said jokingly. "OK yeah...forever works for me.  Damn that thing is shiny..."