Ever wonder why the structure of law school has remained unchanged despite decades of rumors and complaining?  Attorneys who have been through it know how horrifically miserable it is, but nonetheless, the higher-ups have failed to initiate a grand revolution of the study of law.  We all have heard the usual, trite explanations for the static environment in which we find ourselves: "law school is torturous to 'weed out' those who are unfit to be attorneys" or "law school is intentionally tedious so to simulate life after passing the bar."  But, personally, I don't buy into this garbage.

The real reason that law school is still the same as it was in the 1950s has nothing to do with the fact that older generations still pine for the days of poodle skirts and leather jackets.  Truly, it's no earth-shattering epiphany.  Law school is merely legalized hazing.  Yup.  I said it.  And it's as simple as that.  Anyone who played a high school or college sport, was part of a fraternity or sorority, or has joined the military knows exactly what I'm talking about.  It's the I-went-through-it-when-I-was-in-their-shoes-so-they-have-to-too mentality.  Mature, right?

However, it makes perfect sense somehow.  The three years spent in law school don't teach students how to be good attorneys, (because we all can list a number of practitioners who could likely be out-litigated by Lindsey Lohan or some other equally incompetent celebrity), and they certainly aren't intended to assist students in passing the bar exam (that's what we spend thousand of dollars on bar/bri for.  duh).  Law school is a rite of passage, an initiation in a sense.  Whenever I meet older attorneys, they always ask: "Hey, do they still use that old axiom?  That the first year they scare you to death, the second year they work you to death, and the third year they bore you to death?"  It never fails.  They want to know that I am just as suicidal as they were in law school.  Oh, not to worry, I make sure to affirm their beliefs, because most often, these grumpy old men are ecstatic upon learning that law school is still just as demoralizing as it was when the New York Yankees beat the Philadelphia Phillies in four straight games to win the World Series in 1950.

Seriously, though, my argument has merits.  The parallels between stereotypical hazing and law school are extraordinary.  The newly selected members of my high school's varsity men's soccer team were far from excited about being forced to shave their heads, but they did it because they were excited about what would come after they shed their goldilocks.  One small sacrifice meant being part of the team.  Most sane people don't attend law school because they're super pumped about pulling 15-hour study days and sleeping in the cellar of Stockton - they endure this perverted form of education because of what they'll be able to do with their degree upon graduating.  It's their ticket to the "club."

Thankfully, admission to law school doesn't require 1Ls to go Britney Spears.  (Phew.  Law students are, after all, known for their good looks.)  But, we sacrifice in our own way.  Countless hours in the library on Thursday nights and even weekends, losing our eyesight reading cases that were decided in colonial times and are only questionably written in English, quivering in fear that we might be the next victim of something called the "Socratic Method," and completely erasing our existence from any social scene of which we formerly were integral members.  These are examples of how law students essentially "shave our heads" in our quest to achieve a J.D.

So, like we used to say to our pledges when they were broken, ready to give up, and beyond exhausted from not having slept in days, "If we made it through, so will you.  Just keep going."