It's the night before your final law school take-home exam is due. You're sitting at your dining room table, surrounded by your computer, casebooks, hornbooks, papers, and yellow legal pads. It's eleven o'clock at night and you're on your fifth cup of tea for the night. You're wracking your brain on how to phrase this particular rule. It's right there, on the tip of your tongue, you think you have it, oh wait, that's it -

"Mommy, can we watch a movie?"

You look over and see your child's little angel face looking up at you - and all thoughts of the law disappear into the wind. For many law students, this is a normal, everyday happening, the familiar intersection where family and law school duties collide. I am personally familiar with it, though not from the parent perspective. I was that angel face peering up at my own mom, a harried law student who happened to be hosting a sleepover for six-year olds the night before her final take-home exam was due. As a now grown-up law student myself, this amazes  me.

Looking around at other law students with families of their own made me realize that there are so many unique perspectives at GW Law that we do not often get to share. Law school has the tendency to make everything standardized, uniform, and compartmentalized. Thus, this series "What's It Like Being" was born, a space in the paper reserved for the special, unique, or not-so-obvious perspective that certain individuals or groups here at the law school share - and how these perspectives make us an interesting community.

For some students it seems like an impossible task - balancing reading, mowing lawns, studying, memo-writing, school lunches, spousal heart-to-hearts, PTA meetings, professor's office hours, day jobs, and, well, "grown-up" life. For others, like Matt Kelley, it's just everyday life. Kelley and his wife just celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary last month and have two daughters, age 10 and 13. His family was very supportive of his decision to attend law school: "We talked about the pros and cons in detail before I even took the LSAT. One of the major reasons I'm going to law school is so that I can continue to provide for my family, and in particular for my daughters' college educations. I'm a journalist, and the serious economic jolts to the newspaper industry brought me to the realization that continuing with my first career was not a sure thing."

Still, one of the drawbacks of being a law student with a family of your own is the fact that your time belongs to everyone else but you. One part-time student who has been married for two years says, "When you are married and have a family, you no longer think of your choices in terms of how they affect you; you think of your choices in terms of how they affect your family.  I doubt that law students who are married or have children went to law school because they had no other ideas about what to do with their professional lives.  I know that I had a concrete reason for going to law school, and I would imagine that other older students are in a similar boat.  When other people depend on you, you can't float aimlessly."

Kelley describes the balance he has to strike between his academic and personal lives: "I've had to miss some concerts, back-to-school nights and other school events, and I haven't been able to continue with volunteering for the PTA as I had before I started law school. I also haven't had as much time to spend with my family on the weekends, when I do most of my studying. On the other hand, I've made a point of taking time every weekend for some family activities, which has ensured that I'm still a part of their lives."

Like all law students, those who are married feel like there are not enough hours in the day to do everything they wish they could do. Part-time student Jennifer Volk, who has been married for two months, explains that, while it may be obvious that the biggest challenge is finding the time to spend with her husband, the guilt that comes along with being a student is not easily assuaged. "The biggest challenge I've faced in my relationship has been, shocker,  TIME.  I work during the day and attend classes at night, so time is a major challenge.  By the time I get home at night (around 9pm on most days), I'm so exhausted that I don't want to do anything but sleep.  You start to feel guilty about not spending enough time with one another.  And, when you do have time, you need to spend it preparing for class or work.  Of course, finals, i.e., cram-time, is the worst - sometimes I might not see him for days."

Laura, a part-time student with a husband, five-year old daughter and 1-year old son, says that she only gets to spend about a half-hour a day with her children during the week. "My daughter now claims Friday is her favorite weekday because that day Mom can come home early. That really makes me feel bad."

Despite heavy academic schedules, students find ways to get in quality time with their families. Ram Mistry, who lives in Woodbridge, Virginia with his wife of two years, shares that his wife picks him up after she gets off work every day so that they can spend more time together in the car. It is 48 extra miles of driving, but he notes, "Usually we like to dedicate some time for ourselves and stick to that plan. Otherwise, we'd probably get caught up in everything else."

Other family members also pull together to help out law students, like in Laura's family. "If my mom [was] not here helping us, I don't think I can make it at all. Raising two small kids need a lot of effort. I don't think my husband alone can handle two energizers himself. Now I try to spend the whole Saturday with my family, and use most Sunday for study."

Part-time student George Dolina also gets help from his family. He has been married since March 2001 and has two children age two years and 10 months old with his wife, a clinical psychologist. His son was born one week before the beginning of last semester. "It is worth noting that my in-laws also encouraged me to attend law school, and also helped substantially with our small children.  My mother in-law watches the kids while my wife works in the evenings.  It is very helpful that my in-laws live in the area."

Many students with families have an asset that others may not have, however - someone who understands what they're going through. Volk shares, "I have been pretty lucky - my husband used to work and go to school at night too so I think he's much more understanding than most spouses would be.  On the flip side, there are many benefits to being married while being at school.  While I consider it a 'negative' that I go home to my husband and can't spend time with him, it's also a 'positive' - I have someone to vent to and, frankly, take care of me and the house while I'm stressing and don't have the time to do it myself."

Most students interviewed for this article credited their families, especially their spouses, for helping them make it through their law school years. Reed Ryan has been married for eight years. They have two sons that are four and two-years old and another little boy on the way - he says, "We haven't decided on a name so we are definitely open to suggestions! Ryan credits his wife for being his champion during law school. "People always ask me how I do it and the answer is always the same: my wife and her unfaltering dedication to the success of our family."

Kelley also notes that jugging family and academics can have a positive effect on one's personal perspective. "Having a family that depends on me keeps me better focused on doing well in law school. And having real-life experience enhances my understanding of what I'm learning about. For example, learning about strict liability for statutory rape was quite concrete for me since I have a 13-year-old daughter."

Another challenge that students with family face in law school is the perceived dividing line between them and single students without families of their own. With spouses and children waiting at home, students find that they do not have the time - or sometimes the energy - to go to Bar Review or other Student Bar Association events that take place outside of class. Volk says, "It's difficult to get the full law school experience when you're married or have some equivalent relationship.  For example, I would rather go home and hang out with my husband than attend Thirsty Thursdays. And, even if I did want to attend, I would feel guilty hanging out with people that I don't know rather than hanging out with the hubby."

Dolina agrees: "I think people who don't have children can't fully understand how much time young children take.  I basically have no unallocated time available - children have the ability to take up all of my free time. And I am not complaining about that. However, this makes it almost impossible for me to go to the various happy hours, etc. so I may appear anti-social.  I do have to prioritize - and I chose to spend my free time with my family."

Some part-time students said that they really could care less what single students think of them, but Ryan knows that others might not fully understand his situation as a married student with children. Though his life outside the law school may look different from single students, he still wants other students to treat him the same. "Having a wife and kids and going to law school does not mean that I am a few fries short of a Happy Meal! I joke of course, but even though people think I do not have any time, I still love to laugh, talk, and hang out with my friends from law school just like any single student would.  My friends and relationships at school are still very important to me."

Ryan also recognized that people outside of law school may also judge his choice to go back to school. Monday through Thursday every week, he is gone by 6:00am and does not get home from class until 9:30 or 10:30pm. He has little time to spend with his children. "I hate the thought that I might be missing some really special moments with my sons and most people would probably think I am a terrible father for it, but I know they are in good hands [with my wife] and I want my children to know and to see that tried my very best to provide a good life for them."

He notes that having a family while in law school "changes everything." He explains, "Law schools in general do a really good job at convincing you that your entire success in life hinges around how well you do on a few tests.  While there is merit to that approach, having a life with a career and family outside of school really helps keep me grounded.  My kids don't care whether I understand what a prescriptive easement is - they just want me to come home so they can tackle me while playing football or race me up the stairs. To that end, my wife and my kids will always come first." Realistically, he admits, "I knew going into law school at GW that I would never be at the top of the class, but I did know that if I came to law school I would have the opportunity to become a better person, a better father, and a better husband.  Having shifted my priorities to focus on those three goals has forever changed the way I view my law school experience."

While being in law school while married or married with kids is stressful, the end result can be very rewarding. When I told my mother that I was writing this article, she laughed and said she couldn't even remember what the take-home exam was about - but she did remember taking photos of me and my little friends, making cupcakes, and tucking us in at night. She advised those who are facing the challenges of balancing family and law school, "You can live with a B+ instead of an A. Take care of your family and the law school will take care of itself - don't have any regrets when it comes to your family."