So, here we are. Orientation. How do you like it so far? Is it pretty much what you expected? I bet it is. How many different ways are there to do orientation, anyway? That's not a question-that's a challenge.
Anyway, welcome orientation-eers. As you can see, Schoone-Jongen's the name and you've stumbled into my little journalistic (*snicker*) lair here. Have a seat. But don't get comfortable. You lose your edge when that happens. In ages past, this column has been something of a miscellany, and that trend may well continue this year, although the possibility of a unifying theme has not yet been extinguished.
But not for today, chief!
No, today seems like a day that is begging for a list. So it shall be written, so it shall be done (although, in this case, the line between the doing and the writing is a bit, how shall I say, blurry). Because this is the orientation issue, and I'm keen on helping my readers get their bearings, let's talk about five things I'm looking forward to experiencing again at the start of this year-five things not typically covered in orientation.
1. Loosening the Gordian Knot that is WashLaw. Look, you can shop for your books at the university bookstore, and chances are that you will find what you need, for the most part (ask me about my Corporations casebook from last year some time). But there's more adventure to be had if you go to WashLaw. Literally. The employees do a lot of yelling at each other (friendly, mostly). They may even yell at you. But you need to talk to them, because you may not be able to find anything there without help. Indeed, you may not be able to find help. But, assuming you do find help, as well as the books that you need, the prices are sweet.
2. 3 a.m. dining at Mehran. You may not yet know what Froggy Bottom is, but you will, soon enough. Anyway, there may come a night when you realize that it's absurdly late, that you are at Froggy Bottom, and that you should go home. But wait! You're ravenously hungry. Solution: delicious Indian food next door at Mehran. It will seem like a good idea at the time, and it will be. I recommend any of the dishes there, chased with a can of Diet Dr. Pepper. Try keeping the conversation light, however. Heated conversations at that hour end with chair-throwing.
3. Thursdays. There are so many reasons. I will not enumerate them. Find them yourself. You've obviously got the time, if you've read this far.
4. Pleasant conversation at the Wendy's in the Marvin Center. The dialogue there can be nothing short of scintillating. Consider:
Them (glaring): Can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I'd like a Frosty and a Baconator.
Me: A Frosty and a Baconator.
Me: A Frosty and a Baconator.
Them: We don't have that.
Me: Well, you have signs for both of them right behind you.
(long, awkward pause)
Them: Oh, a Frosty AND a Baconator.
Me: Yes. (pause) Please.
The Frosty was delicious. As was the Baconator, although regret followed hard on the heels of the deliciousness.
5. Overhearing The Drama. With a capital D. I'm guessing that orientation doesn't vary wildly from year to year. If that assumption is correct, that means there is a good chance that you have heard, or will soon hear, someone outline the shocking similarities between high school and law school. It's entirely possible to string the analogy out too long. For example, your high school newspaper probably didn't feature some chump columnist whose offerings consisted of "lists" of whatever came into his (or her) mind at any given moment. (Ba-dum, cha!) That having been said, the romantic intrigues here rival, and perhaps surpass, those of high school. Be prepared, my friends, be prepared. You haven't seen hooking-and-breaking-up at this level in years, unless you're a fan of the soap operas, and even then...well. But remember! Oh, please, pretty please, for your own sake, remember: despite being one of the larger law schools in the country, our dear George Washington Law is shockingly small. This is to say: don't complain about your relationship at school. Your complaints will be overheard. And then hilarity will ensue, to say the least.
So, there you have it. Five points of interest, and all within walking distance. That's all for today's program; tune in next time, and we'll just see what happens.